| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|02:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bad Religion - The Dichotomy | ] |
Well this account got "tagged" so entry time :)
Tagged by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) screwmescrewyou
Rules: once you've been tagged, you have to write an entry stating 6 odd or interesting things about yourself. Then tag 6 new people to continue the game.
6 weird things about me? impossible surely
1) I really dislike having to speak on phones. I would sooner walk a a mile and a half to ask a shop a question than phone them. Similarly I avoid using voice comms like "Team Speak" or the audio convos on MSN. I think its cos my disgust over my voice.
2) I developed a phobia of being in water (which I think I'm over now) even though I've happily swam with sharks, got my swimming badges and had no bad experiences in water.
3) Out of all the places I lived prior to Parker Street I was only ever socially happy at one, Backbarrow in Cumbria, however we had to move because I kept getting in fights.
4) Throughout my schooling I was labelled as a C/B student despite getting constant As (i mean 90% of them) through real hard work, which (understandably) got me a nice swot label. In my last year of school I was told to expect DCB for my A Levels, which put me on a backburner and started becoming the lazy git you know today. However ABB earnt me an award for outstanding merit at A Level err level.
5) My favourite past time and interest in life has always been football. I rarely play nowadays (but would love to) however I spent my entirity at school playing and have many scars to show. I played in nets untill we moved into larger goalposts (i'm just too damn small :P) when I became a full back, winger, holding midfielder, sweeper and striker all at once. Did a lot of running in those days!
6) I've only been "a gamer" since about 2000, which surprises a fair few people. As with 4+5 I spent most my time studying, cycling or playing football with mates prior to 2000 until I moved house when it was too far to cycle and i lived in a tiny tiny room on a temp basis so I started playing my dreamcast when i was free because there was nothing else to do in my opinion. For next few years i played a couple of hours a day before moving to halls where i wasted my life in games. I'd played beforehand of course but only a few hours a week.
6 friend? Jesus i dont have that many who read this or that I expect to reply... anyway
I tag:
pandy_ninja
krrrrsty
revivergene
discosticks
mincherino
wargasm38 |
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| Oh dear |
[Jun. 14th, 2006|03:20 am] |
I was asked my age today and I couldnt remember it. Its bad enough forgetting the ages of people you know... but your own?
Everyone go listen to Pigs & Pineapples from The Alter Boys, especially if you miss FNM or Mr Bungle |
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| Dreaming |
[May. 25th, 2006|06:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Offspring - Kill The President | ] |
I've had some curious dreams past couple of nights. Last night I grew a beard... after seeing myself in mirror in dream i shall continue shaving. Also one i liked where i got a 2:1... and then a very nice MSN convo.
I'm bored. Entertain me!!!!
Anyone fancy felt?
ps No dev for wee bit as of tomorrow |
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| Bored and extremely dangerous |
[May. 15th, 2006|02:28 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bad Religion | ] |
God i'm fucking bored already! Guess i'll start web work and job searching to occupy myself but it just feels boring and hollow watching tv and playing games, even though I was looking forward to it!
Also when I get my bass back from Scott I'm gonna start writing some punk ass songs :D
I'm finding it very hard to be Dev again O_o
DRINKS!!! Free drinks at mine whenever people wanna drop by, or we can head out to pub :D |
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| I'm back |
[May. 13th, 2006|02:51 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Metal :) | ] |
After a long absence i'm back fuckers
All hail Develion! |
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| FAQ |
[Jan. 15th, 2006|03:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bad Religion - All Ages .... Excelent album! | ] |
Okay I've been asked this pretty often, which is nice to know people care, but I thought I'd write it down cos its easier this way.
How you feel about wully and grace? i only have a min
I'm gutted to loose a good mate however neither of them are worth being sad over. I am a touch frustrated at how things worked out but meh.
( In more detail about each of them )
Am i ready to move on?
Yes. I have and i think i'm making progress. I know I can be a really good person, and for someone, and about time i found someone "worthy."
How are you?
I'm fucking great! I feel awful physically but lately I've just had a fantastic feeling.
Not a question but everyone says it to me:
You can do better:
Yeah i know. I got loads of great qualities and i know i can make someone happy. My confidence is sky high at the moment.
and finally another FAQ
How about -name removed-?
Yeah i'm working on it lol. Not gonna rush things too much. |
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| A new skill |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|03:05 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | NIN - Only ... "I only made you up to hurt myself" BASS=5/5 | ] |
About time i start giving up on things.
Hopefully from now on I shall give up on:
- Past relationships. My relationship with Grace was never real and the other i wanted to get going was just as false.
- Mates from halls. On reflection they dont deserve the title mates.
- Ambitions. I should settle for mediocre a bit more.
From now on i shall only make efforts for those who actively engage with me.
I've been aware for some time I'm too nice to people who dont really deserve to it. Infact i *try* to be nice to as many as possible at least for face value but i really shouldnt. As Lyndsey was saying the other day I never want to hurt others and my "putting a smile on my face and battling on" makes people walk all over me. Alas no more! Even if short term it makes me more lonely the ability to give up on people, both for friendship and relationships, will benefit me massively.
Final note: When speaking to lasses i'm interested in i shouldnt be so cautious and well nice. I need to be more blunt and add finality. Either yes or no and if needs must, move on. I've no problems with rejection, however my nature has me trying in the wrong ways only to end up empty handed from not getting err stuck in there (talking about lasses still). Friendship wise, well if any rash decisions cant be forgiven or they are a cunt to me they are no mate. Well so long as i dont provoke it by getting off with their partner, good mate or recent ex or theft. Naturually i'll still avoid the big NOs.
PS I'm looking for a guitarist for a band based upon 80s hardcore punk a la Bad Religion - How Can Hell Be Any Worse |
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| Dylan Moran |
[Jan. 8th, 2006|01:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Pennywise - Never Know | ] |
I am in need of company for booking tickets to a Dylan Moran gig in June at Perth, although i dont know if tickets are available yet. However I wanna make sure that when available buying one, or a couple, isnt gonna see me going on my lonesome. Saying that I'd go regardless! |
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| Xmas Toby |
[Jan. 3rd, 2006|10:11 pm] |
Isnt he just adorable? lol |
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| New years resolutions |
[Jan. 1st, 2006|02:34 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Mudvayne - Cradle | ] |
I think i should try to use this year to eliminate my so called good qualities that have held me back most my life. Time to become a dishonest, manipulative wanker. Just like most people i've ever known.
ps if you think this is all i have to say speak to me on msn :) |
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| Fuck! |
[Dec. 31st, 2005|02:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  AWFUL! | ] |
It would appear in the last month i have successfully thrown away so much.
Got my grades back for one of my modules, D for exam and A for coursework. D is worth much much more than A weighting wise so at best i'll get a C. Given the way grades are determined i think i've thrown away any chance of one of upper two degree grades. Three and half years gone in two hours :(
New years tonight. Nervious as i dont think i'll be out going enough to chat to people i dont propperly know, which is pretty much everyone who'll be there. |
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| Friendship |
[Dec. 30th, 2005|01:42 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bad Religion - The Lie | ] |
Last night in a way was good for me. I've seen people for more of what they are. I have some excellent mates and know some cracking people, unfortunately it appears some people previously close to me weren't what they appeared.
To be honest Grace being with Wully wasnt a susprise. I've had my suspiciousoins they were working towards it for some months now, just only really hit in. Also for some reason I thought better of wully but i think i knew he was like that anyway. Just a bit of a kick in bollocks as i thought grace was my first propper relationship and wully my first good mate and then this.
Gonna be very awkward in future as i never wanna see her again, however we're all mates of mates and also I want my DVDs back. |
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| ps |
[Dec. 29th, 2005|11:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | More punk :) | ] |
sorry for seperate entry but i wanted it to be kinda seperate.
I've decided to be much more sociable. I'm gonna try going out for drinks and just having coke to watch pennies. I'm also stopping buying DVDs/CDs (already stopped with games!), except with xmas money :P, so i can err "divert?" those funds into making more of an effort. Even if i dont wanna go out, if entrance is free i will go from now on. If get there and i cant get sociable i can leave but about time i make an effort. Scott, Lyndsey and John have always made an effort to get me out more and i should have been accepting. Apologises guys but from now on I'm putting socialising above "relaxing" on agenda.
However if i have EFU stuff i will of course make sure i attend. I wanna get us back on "top squad" lists again. Been a while.
I will also be more chatty on MSN actually saying "hi" first more often. Amount of times i'm bored but cant be arsed chatting... Previously i only ever made the initial chat if a) i wanted something/to know summut or b) rare exceptions c) very bored
ps i rock |
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| Hey All! |
[Dec. 29th, 2005|11:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Punk playlist | ] |
I'm back after a week away, refreshed for a new year. Before my break i was kinda thinking "ah well another year starting in same depressing place" but thats not true. I have some good friends around, more motivation, pills for my tiredness and lack of concentration and more importantly a good frame of mind.
Onwards and upwards. I get to graduate this year, my greatest achievement yet, plus ya know what? I'm confident. I know i can do well, and deserve success in all areas of my life and its about time i try to seize this. Get the grades i know i'm capable of at Uni, take my practicing (bass) guitar more seriously and be sociable and i'm sure i can have a great year, especially with help of people around me.
BTW Christmas was good and my main presents, 24, was one of most exhillirating things of year. Glad to be home again but was real good to be home.
With regards to approaching my new single life. I'm gonna just be as out going as possible. I'm not sure about straight going for people i previously liked (but obviously would have no interest in pursing that beforehand!) but i'm gonna just try and get to know them. Take my time and be cautious with possible serious relationships, or people i really like, but in meantime i might try "living it up" if thats acceptable? If not, in all seriousness, fuck yas.
ps anyone wanna start a light hearted punk band based on 1980-early/mid '90s, Bad Religon, offspring with a splash of grunge and goth-punk? I'm looking for a drummer, 2 guitarists and maybe, maybe, a vocalist. Skill not required. Not caring about fuck ups is essential. |
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| Fair thee well Ogre! |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|01:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Cure - Lullaby | ] |
I'm off away home for a week so I'll see you all either on Felt 29th or on MSN etc day after!
Have a merry christmas everyone. I'm looking forward to this xmas and the break should get me fresh for a new year. Starting everything all over so I get and the fun and games of past years, but hopefully things will be more successful!
Good luck tonight Avril and Lyndsey, tell scott i said have a gun un.
Cumbria awaits!
btw thanks to everyone for their support and encouragement over past few days! |
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| It comes to this |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|12:47 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sex Art - Inside | ] |
I always hoped me and Grace would end up going our seperate ways in a good manner. Not by text or MSN but face to face agreeing things should end. I didnt want it but all things end. But how does it actually end? Grace goes away with my mate for a night. Then wont speak to me. Eventually after realising she wouldnt see me before xmas i thought maybe she doesnt want to see me again so i ask if she's broken up with me. Result: Yes, without even having the common fucking courtesy to tell me. I mean FFS 9 months to throw away?
I've tried being open and honest. Confronting any of my problems so we can work it out, like you always hear women saying they want guys to do. The result is I'm lied to, ignored, used and treated like nothing. No speaking to me about the problems, not even making an effort to set things right. Just leaves me without even letting me know.
I might get some stick for making my feelings public but I need to talk about it. Not just bottling it up inside and its obvious grace doesnt give a shit so cant talk to her.
I've had some nasty breakups, VERY nasty. This is the worst. "Shall we still be friends?"
I'm never gonna sleep now. be going to docs half dead in morning.
Merry Christmas All
Edit: I know a lot of people are gonna say i was unhappy and often re-evaluating the situation, however i always wanted to try to make it work. Sometimes i think there's a gender difference. Us guys get hurt and reel from it for ages. Women seem to have a new bloke straight away |
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| So then... |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|02:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | MP3s :) ---- Orgy - Vague | ] |
Thursday i'm away home for a week. Some serious thinking to do.
Think these next few days i'll just play BHD and football manager while i have the chance. Doubt Grace is gonna bother seeing me this week, she has others that are obviously better company. Got so many movies now its amazing. Can watch what i want, when i want lol. My week home will be hard with no gaming what so ever. Maybe my sister will let her steal her dreamcast, although it is kinda broken and i will only be able to play platformers... Season 4 of 24 on xmas tho!!! CANT WAIT!
Not sure what to do for new years. Starting to regret my decision to come back up for it but hopefully i'll find a few people to go to a pub/club with. Or anything pretty public!
My clan website is now possibly one of the best out there with my new "Nova Tools," a guide and other stuff. I've also been working with the guy who makes the biggest tool of the community (www.pcidsearch.com) in improving that, which is kinda cool. I've given him starting blocks on getting "banned" status and also i wrote a tool that uploads personal ban lists (in game there's a command that bans people from your server) and then extracts all the unique IDs from this file. Could be quite useful for community again. Both of these are on our site already ^__^ Need to increase hits tho!
Tomorrow i must go to the docs for a blood test to see whether i'm on the right strength of pills. Too much would make me hyperactive, too little isn't waking me up enough. I hate having blood taken! On a plus note i dont feel like as much of a zombie. Lately i've been feeling shite again buts all in my head me thinks |
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| Encouragement |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|04:36 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sonata Artica... PISHE! *skip* Union Underground... Mmm bass | ] |
A rare thing but i got some today. A lot actually.
Wully actually seemed impressed with my bass skills given the pishe he's heard before. Maybe there is hope for me! Given its my aim for 2006 to become a decent bassist i might be able to make it. I was playing along to a randomly selected old BR solng, which is the music i like "just playing to" and wully thought it was pretty decent! Normally decent isnt a compliment but for me
In terms of relationships i now feel as though i understand my past and present too. Hopefully now the future can be even better!
I really shouldnt read into those stupid e-predictions you get. Most the time they are correct because you sub-conciously make them correct! Anyway. I've concluded who knows what the future holds. I'll try to steer it in the right direction but "fate" has got me onto a good course in a place i like (yeah i believe fate got me there, or unusual salesmanship of guy at UCAS stand all them years back) so i will stick by it.
My life has been on the up for years so far be it from me to interfere! Let the fun and dramas continue with mere guidance from myself me thinks.
BTW I've noticed my pills are having a positive effect. Or maybe its just me but when life throws shit at me it only affects me briefly, sometimes not at all. Onwards and upwards my Dad always said and now i feel reet grand! |
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| Time Off |
[Dec. 15th, 2005|05:12 pm] |
I now have a week of relaxation up in Dundee! Starting off i have people coming round for food, drink and film soon, although i expect just a couple to show we wont agree on a film and the bastards will eat and drink everything of mine. However it is nice having people round!
Following that I'm gonna be pretty free. I should try joining people in non-paying tasks such as going down town or just meeting up but I'm too lazy. However if you invite me out i may well agree so keep me occupied please! So long as i'm not going into endless shops i dont care about :P
Also plan on finishing my dad's website () and my NovaTools for EFU website (assortment of tools to get info on server listings, stats, viewing player history/aliases etc). Final thing is to conclude downloading films. My downloading/to download list is down to under 20 i think now. Also plan on REALLY practising bass and guitar. Lord knows i need it. Gave up on getting encouragement and/or incentive from other people so i'm just gonna have to work HARD on it.
Also with a spot of luck i'll get to 2009 in Football Manager with my Reading Team in top half of premiership (we're relegation battlers after being promoted and now in 11th place / 20 in league!) and not throw away my qualification chances for World Cup with Ireland quite yet ( |
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